Thoughts on Writer’s Block, Resistance, & Joy

This post was supposed to be a book review.

I read, digested, researched, and outlined a nice little post about the book and then stared at a blank screen with a blinking cursor for what felt like forever. I procrastinated. I organized my office, thinking I was organizing my thoughts and would get to the book really soon - just after I finished this or that task. Reader, the book review is still not done (but I do recommend it!).

I felt terrible about not writing the dang review. I wanted to share this book with you! It’s worth reading, and I wanted to tell you about it and thought you might find it interesting! But the words didn’t come, and the longer “write book review,” lingered at the top of my task list, the worse I felt.

Now, I know that this is not an experience unique to me. Writer's block: it happens to everyone who writes! I talked to friends and colleagues about it, and everyone was so supportive, saying things like, I’ve been there! You can do it! Hang in there! The words will come! And I felt encouraged. But still blocked.

And then, I spent a day and a half with Dorie Clark, Jenny Blake, and a group of amazing women to immerse myself in a zoom-in, zoom-out look at my business, its processes, and my goals.

Over lunch on the first day, I was complaining (yet again) about this block, and Jenny looked at me and said (and I paraphrase), “You are not meant to write this book review. It clearly does not bring you joy, and even if you did write it, it wouldn’t land well because you are not in an authentic space trying to make this happen. Write something that brings you joy instead.”

Um. Wow.

I felt the weight of my internal resistance, unmet (self-imposed) expectations, and self-disappointment immediately lift from my shoulders. I didn’t have to write the review! How freeing! And here I am now, writing something that brings me joy.

Why does writing this post, what some might perceive to be a demonstration of my failure, bring me joy?

 After all, I had done all the prep work for the book review that will now be “wasted.” My lack of action kept me from doing other things I could and should have been doing. Wouldn’t it be better if I had finally pushed through the block?

Here’s why ditching the book review was the right call for me: all too often, we get so wrapped up in what we think we should be doing - whether it’s to meet our own (perhaps unstated) expectations or the expectations of others - only to find ourselves spiraling into a cycle of self-criticism and disappointment in ourselves, all while everyone else has no idea how much we’re causing ourselves to struggle!

I’m here to tell you that sometimes the walls are not there to be broken through but to be met with curiosity and the possibility of finding another way to your destination.

Rethinking this blocked pathway immediately unlocked my creativity and curiosity about how I can best serve you, my clients and friends. Releasing my too-tight self-expectation allowed me space to consider what is possible.

And so, I share with you these reflection prompts that might help you meet your own walls with curiosity and compassion:

• What is something that you feel a great sense of resistance around? Is it a task? Expectation? Responsibility? Name it and reflect on where the resistance is coming from. This might feel easy - you may already think you know where the resistance is based, but I encourage you to dig a little deeper - is there more? 

• Is this something that is yours to do, or is it something you think you should be doing, but it’s actually something that might be better off not being done at all or being done by someone else? If someone else, who? And why aren’t they already doing it? Do you need to delegate it and relinquish control? If it’s yours to do, how can you approach it from a space of surrender, releasing the frustration and keeping the end goal in mind?

• What can you do to redirect your energy? What would bring you joy?

• What is possible if you redirect the task or reframe your mindset?

• Where will you go from here?

I hope these prompts will help you process a block you have in your life - at work or home - whether it is writing, scheduling an appointment, making a big change, or dealing with a difficult person. I’d love to hear about it!